Start to Finish.....are you ready?

Why the Flip Side Dive?  Have you ever wondered why people say, "See ya on the flip side?"  The other side of where you currently are...right?  Slang term for the better side of life or the side that you want to be on but really don't know how to get there or maybe even the worse side of life which is not so cool.  This is going to be a blog about me diving into those flip sides.  No being skeered, no self doubt, running from possibilities, and not even "wall blocking" dating.  I'm going to dive right in and see what happens.

Will this be entertaining for you?  I dunno, but I can say that it will be extremely entertaining for me to blog about.
Today I've started my Nicoderm CQ patch.  This little bloody patch that is itching the hell out of my arm is of course keeping me from thinking about smoking because I've been itching my arm all day causing me to not have a free hand to hold the damn cigarette.  After a few drinks I've managed to calm myself down enough to use both hands to cook and type.  Yes, at the same time cause I'm cool like that.  Trying to quit smoking is a feat all in itself.  I am diving into the nonsmoking side because it's only going to better me.  As we all dwell on how we looked 10 years ago, we think about ways to bring us back to our no wrinkle, no grey hair, no sagging, selves.  Why I started smoking?  I really don't even know.  I just did.  I've quit several times.  First time was right off the plane headed to boot camp and ran 2 miles the next day.  When I started again, it was purely out of spite because I wasn't supposed to.  In our dorms on base, if I ever got caught I was in some serious trouble.  I quit while pregnant with my daughter who's 12 now, but then immediately started back up again after having her.  An output possibly?  My way of having my own time to myself.  I didn't think about what it could potentially do to me because I knew a lot of people that did it so I never dwelled on it.  Now, I'm going to stop.  I must stop.  I can feel myself dying inside and hate the fact that there is something controlling me.  Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like things controlling me.  Hence....SINGLE STATUS.  I can feel myself being really jumpy, like I need to go do something because I'm not smoking.  But there's nothing to do.  I must find something to occupy this free time.  There is only so much Mommy stuff to do before you begin to crave alone time...........what do I do then?  That's my next project.