2am........

Whirlwind of emotions today while at work.  Angry at some things that are of political nature, disappointment due to attitudes going from positive to negative, sad from knowing that my work family will be dissipating sooner than I thought; however I seemed to keep a smile on my face all day today as I handed out Christmas or Holiday cards to my work family.  I think I'm trying too hard to maintain the everything will be okay attitude and it's tiring.  I'm going to dive into another mode......but which mode?  I don't want to be snide or mean, but I don't want to be happy go lucky and make people want to vomit either.  Being me is not really being me right now because of everything going on at work.  So, I'll meditate tonight and in the morning I should have my answer.

Every morning for the past year and a half, I wake up at 2am.  EVERY MORNING!!!  I wake up because something either happens in my dream or I hear something and wake up.  It's not always on the dot though, but it's during the 2am hour I will wake, look at the clock, say "Wonderful....again?  Really?" and then go back to sleep.  The only thing I can link as the cause is all the undone things before I go to bed.  My brain is waking me up.  All I know is I needs me some sleeps!!  I thought about a sleeping agent to assist me, but I don't want to be knocked out if something happens during the night and the kids need me.  Just very odd.

I finally finished Kristine's sisters vase that she's giving her for Christmas.  East Indian design with the wonderful Om.  Doing little projects like this definitely helps clear my mind of all the chaos going on in it.  Still working on a second one that I should have done soon hopefully of the Twas the Night Before Christmas segment of "as the sugar plums danced in their heads".  It's turning out really nice.

 It's not perfect, but pretty damn good for freehand on a vase I must say.  hahahahaha  More projects to come as I flip side dive into life!